Pride Month: Pidgeon Pagonis

Today is all about being intersex! Personally, intersex is an identity on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum that I still don’t know a whole lot about.

I remember being introduced to the topic as a young kid,  but with the term “hermaphrodite”. It was always, without fail, used negatively and condescendingly. I vividly remember this huge rumor about the singer Ciara being a “hermaphrodite” and how that made her so weird and different???

Needless to say, I, like many, was very uneducated when it came to the term intersex and what that actually entailed. Until I was introduced to Pidgeon.

I first saw Pidgeon in a Buzzfeed interview in 2015. The video did an amazing job at explaining what it truly meant to be intersex and the experiences/struggles that come along with that. Before I move forward, you can watch that video here:

As you can see, not all intersex people are alike. Each person has their own unique experiences and identity.

I then saw Pidgeon again, a few months ago, in a second Buzzfeed video. In this video, Pidgeon interviews different strangers on the streets of Manhattan to see what they know about being intersex. Check it out:

To no surprise, most people didn’t know very much!! I can’t blame them, I didn’t know very much until recently either.

Although, like Pidgeon says in this video, not all intersex people identify as LGBTQ+, I still really felt the need to include it in this Pride Month blog. Like many other identites, it still has a massive stigma attached – a stigma that is mostly perpetuated by a lack of knowledge and information. So, although I am not the most well informed person on what it means to be intersex, I felt it important to share regardless.

Pigeon also has their own Youtube channel! Here are a few videos where they explain, in more detail, what their experience with being intersex has been like. I highly suggest watching. They’re informative and interesting (and Pidgeon is clearly just cool AF).

Being able to put a face and a name to a concept you know little about, in my opinion, also really helps new knowledge resonate with you. I am in awe of Pidgeon’s willingness to be vulnerable, honest, and unapologetically open for the greater good of others. Content like this is so so important, and I’m extremely happy there are people like Pigeon out there willing to create it.

MHAM Post #3: One of Many Who Inspire Me – Kelsey Darragh

After a weekend spent feeling unusually low, I wanted to get the ball rolling this week with a little inspiration from someone I have admired for quite some time now.

Kelsey Darragh, if you don’t know her, now you know. Female comedian, internet content creator, and Buzzfeed producer who, for some time now, has been generating some pretty dope and hilarious videos, and a lot of seriously relatable shit too.

The video above isn’t the only one floating around Buzzfeed’s many Youtube pages that features her discussing her mental health, but it’s definitely one of my personal favorites.

I know I say it all the time, but progress isn’t always linear, you guys!! Not with anything in life, but especially not with mental health. Don’t get discouraged if you feel like you’re running in place. Don’t give up if it seems like you’re taking three steps forward just to take four steps back. Change will come. There are people, medications, therapies, resources, out there that will help you. It make take time to find the right combination that works perfectly for you, but don’t stop now.

If you want to check out more of Kelsey Darragh’s stuff you can find her here:


Twitter: @kelseydarragh
Instagram: @kelseydarraghcomedy

And tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…..keep an eye out for the first of
many pieces about mental health written by a friend of mine !!!

KEWL HUH? YOU GET TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME FOR A
CHANGE.

K HAPPY MONDAY n shit xo

Apparently I’m Neurotic

alexkrump:

 Lol

I say that as if it is a surprise BUT I guess I never really understood what “neurotic” meant until recently? Actually, I still don’t really know what it means in its entirety, but that’s besides the point.
They other day I took a personality quiz, and before you say anything… I KNOW I need to take it all with a grain of salt, okay????
But it was just a little eye opening and I want to share why:

I took the quiz with 3 other friends and when we finished we compared results.
It was 120 questions with results that were broken into categories like extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism.
Those categories were then broken into subcategories. Some key subcategories to note: trust, anxiety, depression, self-consciousness, vulnerability, emotionality. 

(You can take the quiz here: http://www.personal.psu.edu/j5j/IPIP/ipipneo120.htm)

To sum it up: for each category you are given a score between 1-100, 1 obviously being very low and 100 being extremely high. For the subcategories above I scored:

  • Trust: 1
  • Anxiety: 98
  • Depression: 98
  • Self-consciousness: 94
  • Vulnerability: 99
  • Emotionality: 91

All total, my neuroticism score was 99/100. The description for this reads: “Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional.”

Am I surprised by that? No…. But also kind of. My friends’ scores for trust fell anywhere between 65-95. Their scores for depression/anxiety/etc where all below 20. AKA THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF MY SCORES INCASE THAT NEEDED EXPLAINING.

I couldn’t help by immediately isolate myself within my own brain and replay the same question over and over: “why am I SO far on the opposite side of the spectrum?” Or atleast why is that how it looks on paper?

Why do I look at every person that I find attractive and automatically envision them hurting me before they even talk to me? Why do I immediately assume they won’t care about me enough, or won’t understand me enough, or won’t like me enough to like me and only me? Why am I so cynical to the point where I don’t even know how to have feelings for someone anymore? Why do I pick out every flaw in everyone I meet before I even know them? I have a endless track of critiques playing every time I eye up someone I find even mildly attractive.

DO YOU KNOW HOW EXHAUSTING IT IS TO CONSISTENTLY BE THINKING THESE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT EVERYONE (MYSELF INCLUDED)?

A couple of my friends recently started new (serious) relationships. I used to get so jealous of my friends in new relationships because I thought it was so cute and I wanted to experience those happy feelings too. Now I can’t even imagine myself feeling the way they feel, and I get almost angered(?) by my friends’ happiness.

THAT IS NOT NORMAL.

I’ve always lacked trust… fine, fine, whatever, okay I get it, BUT it’s never been this bad.

I know a lot of it is subconsciously related to my dad (and also the subconscious fear than no one in their right mind would want to date someone with “daddy issues”… Isn’t that like the #1 turn off in the unwritten book of turn offs?), but I think a lot of it also has to do with having really unstable friendships growing up.

I know that is where a lot of my anxiety stems from too. I’m very accustomed to the idea that if a person decides they’re bored/annoyed/etc of me they can (and probably will) just stop hanging out with me. It’s so hard explaining that to people that grew up with reliable friends, because they don’t consistently struggle with that little bit of fear lingering in the back of their minds like I always do!! It influences basically every interaction I ever have.

Then add some hypersensitivity into the mix and it’s just one adorable endless cycle!! I get hurt by something, I add it to the list of reasons why I don’t trust people, then I judge others and isolate myself, I feel alone, I wonder why no one will love someone like me, then I get hurt, and start over again.

And I think the feelings just slowly get worse and worse over time too.

God it’s lonely.

But how do I fix it????

Privilege

alexkrump:

Earlier today I took a Buzzfeed quiz about privilege. It basically consisted of 100 questions that relate to race, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, mental health, etc. Essentially the more boxes you check off, the more privileged you are. (You can take the quiz here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/how-privileged-are-you?utm_term=.xte7Xjp8e#.nmPWlxLjp

I got a 60/100. To me, when I originally saw that number, I felt almost sorry for myself. I immediately looked at it as 40 reasons why I’m not good enough. But I read the description associated with that number that said “You’re quite privileged. You’ve had a few struggles, but overall your life has been far easier than most. This is not a bad thing, nor is it something to be ashamed of. But you should be aware of your advantages and work to help others who don’t have them.”

This gave me a whole new perspective on my privilege and how I compare to others around me. I’m so quick to pity myself sometimes, because I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by a good amount of friends with lives substantially easier than mine. It’s really nice and humbling to be reminded that, although not EVERYTHING is easy for me, a lot of things are, and it’s not something I should ever take for granted.

PLUS it’s such a huge motivation-booster to see people that are considered to be substantially less privileged than I am, doing amazingly successful, great things with their lives. It helps me to remember that just because some things are difficult, it doesn’t mean I can’t find happiness and success too.

 And even more so than that, it gives me hope for the future. It makes me think that maybe, slowly, we are actually moving closer to equality in America. That just because someone is female, or queer, or of color, or trans, or poor, doesn’t mean they can’t have all the same accomplishments as an upper class, white, straight male. Don’t get me wrong, I can safely assume that those people less privileged had to work at least a little bit harder than the stereotypical white male, but they’re still succeeding and showing people that it’s possible to defy those odds! 

This is what we need to keep fighting for! I’m so adamant about equal rights and I think that confuses people sometimes because they see me as an upper-middle class, straight, white girl. But 1. it’s easy to judge me and assume those things based on my appearance AND more importantly 2. you do not have to be part of a minority group to care about their rights!!!!!!!! Allies need to help the cause or nothing will ever change!!!!! Ugh that part infuriates me because, to me, it feels like a lot of people I know only care about issues that directly affect them but PEOPLE’S RIGHTS MATTER AND YOU NEED TO CARE.

Okay this post took a ramble-y turn but anyways those are my thoughts thanks for listening!!